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I made a huge decision (for me at least) to leave my laptop behind on my desk during a recent family diving holiday and enjoyed what I told myself was a much deserved week completely away from work.

It was wonderful! However, opening the laptop once I got back home was like opening Pandora’s box.

I was refreshed, ready to work and motivated, but the harder I worked, the more my to-do list grew and the further behind I got. After only one week back, I was feeling the pang of panic, my sleep was disturbed and I was jumping
from one urgent / important task to another without really getting anything off my plate.

I beat myself up with the feeling that I shouldn’t have stopped and marvelled at how impossible it was to get back up to the speed I was operating at before the holiday. It was in a conversation with my supervisor that I realised I
had been saying things like, ‘I’m drowning’, ‘I’m underwater’ and ‘I’m struggling to keep my head above water’.

The irony that I’d just enjoyed a glorious diving holiday where I loved having my head deep underwater was not lost on me! I started to think about the differences between choosing to dive deeply and struggling to keep your
head above water and the following diving lessons offered a much needed change of perspective!

Always dive with a buddy
I have only ever dived in a group with a guide, but however dives are organised, everyone has a designated ‘buddy’. The ‘Buddy System’ means that divers carefully check each other’s equipment, check for hand signals and agreed
communication and basically make sure that any emergency situation can be dealt with quickly, calmly and safely. There is a great deal of trust in this practice as the other person’s life is literally in your hands! Basically, If I
don’t make sure my buddy is completely safe and ready to dive, I am taking a disaster-waiting-to-happen deep under the water with me.

For me, the message of looking after those around me was imbalance. This diving lesson reminded me to not only support others, but to define communication channels and clearly ask for what I needed too.

One task as a time and never, ever rush
On our holiday we were caught by a huge thunder and lightening storm that was obviously very dangerous to a group of people wearing giant metal tanks, sitting on a little dinghy in the Mediterranean sea!

Even when the storm was literally crashing all around us and we could barely see through the sheet of rain, no step in the safety process was rushed, cropped or cut. Every step of our preparation and execution was carried out calmly
and only one step at a time.

I realised that I was starting a gazillion things and focusing fully on none. I was telling myself that I was multi-tasking, knowing full well that it was about as useful as trying to jump straight in at the first signs of the storm
without any preparation – and I don’t think I need to say that that would not go well…

I took the time to run through the information in my “
Get a Higher Perspective & Prioritise Your To-Do List” blog and tool,
and with a clearer perspective on my to-do list, prioritised tasks and focused all the way through to the end on each.

Review, refresh & renew
As we hadn’t been diving in a few years due to COVID-19, we all had to take a refresher course to discuss and clarify the basics and then remind us of and practice what to do in all eventualities. We were brought back to basics and
had a useful review of assumptions and any old bad habits.

What do you do to check back in with the basics and lay safe foundations for any eventualities?

Clear communication
There is no space for blah blah blah underwater. This is an exercise in both stating instructions, questions and needs, clearly and concisely and clarifying answers to fully understand.

The dive guide goes over safety protocol, hand signals and meaning, what to do in any eventuality, what to watch out for and so on before EVERY dive, even if you already dived earlier in the day with the same dive guide. Nothing is
left to assumptions underwater.

I was frustrated that the unpacking, laundry and house were still waiting for me and adding another few weighty ‘jobs’ to my list without anyone, myself included, having stated a need and I didn’t listen to understand other’s
responses either. Hey presto, ‘have-to assumptions’ immediately busted!

Check air levels, depth and buoyancy constantly
One of the pre-dive protocols the dive guide always includes is the signal for ‘how much air do you have’ with signals for communicating tank amounts and what to do when you notice your air is at a certain level.

The dive guide will also clarify safe depths and remind us all to check our computers or control depth by regulating to the dive guide’s depth.

I had a situation where I was the first to see a very cool Pipefish so I put myself over to one side to wait for the other divers to get a good look at it too. As I was enjoying watching all the fish swimming around me, I hadn’t
realised that I had sunk down dangerously low. Luckily the dive guide was able to get my attention and bring me back to a safe level, but I just hadn’t noticed how deep I’d got myself.

It is so easy to fail to notice how deep underwater we really are, until it’s too late and we find ourselves too deep without enough air. What do you do to check your depth and air?

At the beginning of our holiday, one of us used a lot of air very quickly. This means that those of us who were controlling our air well had to finish the dives early. We can only dive as a group as long as the person with the worst
air consumption has air.

Most air consumption is used up with rushing around, moving up and down between different depths and inflating and deflating your buoyancy control device (BCG), which is like a vest that you can fill with air. That person learnt
quickly to calm their breathing, control their buoyancy and dive as long as anyone else.

This reminded me that, while I might think I’m okay and happy to hold my breath and push on, this has a direct impact on the other people in my life, from clients to close family.

Know when to come up for air
There is a limit to diving and the deeper the dive, the shorter the amount of time we can stay underwater. We have to rest and breath natural air, we have to drink and eat something, check our tanks and equipment with the same buddy
precision as before the last dive and ensure that our systems are prepared and resourced for the next dive.

Our human systems need that too! I leapt into work from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed and realised I hadn’t stopped for any breaks, except dinner when I was responsible for feeding a family. I believed I was
saving time and creating more space to get stuff done.

Once I introduced short, yet complete breaks into my day, I was able to work so much more efficiently and effectively.

Safety stops
Safety stops are where divers come up to a depth of 5m and stay at that level for 3 minutes. This not only allows the body to slowly and safely release the build up of nitrogen that collects in the blood, but also reminds divers to
look out for any obstructions to their ascent.

One of the frustrating things about taking breaks for me is losing the flow and having to spend time getting back to where I left off.

Safety stops reminded me to take a moment between work and breaks to put things in order and prepare my working environment to return to. Hey presto, no backtracking and wondering where I was or where that pesky document had got to!

Keep a logbook
Divers keep a log book of all their dives to include the area, dive site, depth, conditions and things observed there.

I was so busy that I didn’t have time to journal. Journaling is such a powerfully quick, easy and cheap way to clear the head, pin thoughts and ideas down for further reflection and start to understand programmes and tabs that have
been subconsciously open and running in the background.

What I’m doing, how and why suddenly makes sense and who doesn’t need more of that?!

Take only photos, leave only bubbles
This diving mantra is a lesson in staying conscious and aware in every area of my life and applies as much to my environmental, emotional and energetic footprint on land as to the sea!

And a great way to show up in life like this is with the help, support and guidance of the lessons from diving above.

So the next time you feel yourself underwater, choose whether to hold your breath and panic or kit up safely and go diving.

All the best,
Gillian

Are you a high flyer?

The online Cambridge dictionary defines a high-flyer as:
Someone who has a lot of ability and a strong wish to be successful and is therefore expected to achieve a lot
: High-flyers in the industry typically earn 25 percent more than their colleagues.

Does this mean they work harder? Possibly, but the real key to high-flying success is in working smarter and keeping the bigger picture in sight.

This is never easy when your to-do list fills quicker than you can tick them off. So what is the secret of high flyers? Prioritising with perspective and staying focused on what matters rather than becoming overwhelmed by the
sheer quantity of things to do-always.

Use the ‘Perspective Priorities’ sheet, a big drawing space and some sticky notes and
follow this quick and simple process.

1. First of all, take a deep, grounding breath then look at your complete to-do list? Notice what it feels like to have that list hanging over your head – but don’t dwell there!
2. Draw a large representation of a hot air balloon and basket towards the top of your drawing area, then write one ‘to-do’ on one sticky note.
3. Stick this ‘to-do’ sticky note just under the hot air balloon’s basket as if it were a ballast sandbag weight.
4. Repeat with all of the items on your to-do list until they are all separate ‘sandbags’ weighing your hot air balloon down.
5. It is normal for one task on your to do list, such as a large project, to be made up of several other tasks. It’s up do you do decide for yourself if these remain as one ‘sandbag’ or individual ones.
6. Once all your sandbags are in place, take a step back and notice what emerges for you as you see the amount of weight on your balloon. As you do this, you suddenly notice the sound of escaping air and realise that your balloon has begun to slowly descend. What’s more, you are heading towards a mountain and need to gain altitude or you won’t make it over the summit!

You need to act quickly, but rationally, so take a moment and a breath to ground yourself, then consider:

• Which of your ‘to-do’ sandbags do you cut loose first? (Pop this sticky on your desk or somewhere face up.)
• Once that has sandbag has dropped, you notice you are still descending too quickly!
• Which of your ‘to-do’ sandbags do you cut loose next? (Pop this sticky face up on top of the first)
• Work quickly to repeat with all the other ‘to-do’ sandbags until only one is remaining. (You will end up with a little stack of stickies in order of prioritisation).
• Look at the last sandbag ‘to-do’. This is number one priority and, even though the balloon is still going down (more gently now), you have to keep this one attached to your basket.
• Look up!
• What condition is your burner in? 
• Is it well maintained and firing at capacity or in need of attention? 
• What fuel keeps the air in your balloon hottest?
• How full is your fuel tank?
• Where, when and how are you going to refuel before you add any other ‘to-to’ sandbags to your basket?
• You’ve given yourself some breathing space and seemed to have levelled out for now…
• Before you work on your first priority, take in the view from your hot air balloon; Notice your chosen destination, notice any obstacles and what they represent to you (including that huge mountain gaining on you fast!). As you notice your reaction to these parts of the landscape, look to see where the resources, fuel stations and supporters are located and anything else you can see from up there that will help you to get where you need to go.
• Now that you have more altitude and awareness, you are in a much better position to begin tackling this last remaining ‘to-do’ sandbag and first priority. Perhaps how you view this sandbag has even changed in the light of your new, altitude perspective!

So there you have it – a mental refuelling stop to successfully shift from potential ‘nose to the grindstone’ overwhelm to a higher-flying perspective, a clearer view of where you are headed and a priority organised ‘to-do’
list.

Sorted!

All that’s left is to wish you very happy flying this summer!
Gillian

 

Harness the energy of spring to your own projects – Here’s how!

You know that feeling when the first, energetic buds shoot up and form after a long, dark winter – the energy, positivity, joy and mental boost that gives us – let’s talk about, and harness some of THAT!

A salute of daffodil buds welcomed me home after a particularly long and tiring day today and, I don’t know how nature does it, but their positive exuberance immediately rubbed off on me. My energy, positivity and drive levels
shot up and the things weighing on my ‘still-to-do list’ felt light and achievable in comparison to moments before.

I know I’m not the only one to feel this surge of spring energy, so gather round and let’s learn from nature’s positive energy master!

I am reminded of the ‘BUDS’ acronym I created as a way of shifting client’s idea-buds into full blossom and now feels like the perfect time to share the process and get some of that spring energy to get your idea buds bursting into
blossom too!

Use the ‘from BUDS to Blossom’ sheet to follow this quick and
simple process.

First of all, write a list of all your ideas that have been lying dormant and hibernating on the back of the sheet. Which of these idea seeds do you feel are laying just under the surface ready to sprout first green shoots upwards
and taproots downwards?

(When working with clients, we might go through this process three or more times and from different perspectives until they decide which idea seed is ‘the one’. For the sake of this article, I’m assuming you have no trouble
spotting THE idea you want to work on.)

Choose one to work with and write it down on the front of the sheet. Start your sentence with, “I want to…”

Now follow the acronym BUDS:

B stands for: Believe 

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” It really is true! Here is a little process for pumping up your positive beliefs and leaning into possibilities.

Fold a piece of paper so that you have 6 sections. In the top left box, jot down something you believe is stopping this idea from blossoming.

Now stop and think of 5 people (alive or dead, real or fictional) who you just know would be able to get this idea up and running successfully. Put their names as a title at the top of each of the other 5 boxes. Under each name
think about the following questions jotting down some notes:

• What this person would believe
• What this person would say to themselves
• How this person could show up (their identity)
• How this person would act and behave
• What the outcome for this person would be
• What this person would say to me right now

U stands for: Upside  

One of the most common things that holds us back from taking those first steps in bringing an idea to life is the fear of failure. We have a tendency to subconsciously remember any times an idea failed, and our library of past
failures encourages us to stay still and stay safe. Our thinking is coming from negative, past feelings.

It is really helpful to take the time to update our thinking by turning our attention to focus on the ‘upside’; the positive, future outcomes for yourself and anyone else that might benefit from this idea blossoming.

Paint yourself a mental picture of what life would be like with this idea blossoming! Some people find it really beneficial to create a vision board of images and affirmations that they can look at everyday or do a future-forward
visualisation exercise to focus on the future they want.

D stands for: Dung 

Yes, Dung! We can’t grow anything if the soil is depleted and you cannot support your idea through to completion if your energy levels are depleted either. Just as we are told on every flight, take care of your own oxygen levels
before trying to help others.

Reflect on these questions remembering that we have FOUR energy dials to watch: Physical; Emotional; Mental; Spiritual.

• What will you need to do for yourself before you give energy to this idea?
• What does the idea need to keep that springtime energy high?
• What will you do to keep yourself and the idea nourished?
• When is a good time for your energy levels?
• How will you need to tweak your environment to be more nourishing?
• How will you support yourself?
• Who will support you / your idea?

S stands for: Storms & Sun

Do you know the story of the 13th Fairy? This famous Grimm’s fairy-tale goes something like this …..

The king and queen are so thrilled with their daughter’s birth that they send invitations out across the kingdom to all their most important subjects, including 12 fairies. After the 11th fairy had given her magical blessing
to the sleeping child, the 13th fairy rushed in in a complete rage, furious at being forgotten, and cursed the baby. The 12th fairy couldn’t break the curse but could at least minimise it and turn what would have been a
certain death into a long sleep that could be woken under the right conditions.

Where am I going with this?

Well, think about the unthinkable, the storms and lightning bolts that could appear out of the blue and shake your buds. Consider the most unexpected storm that could strike and put your 12th fairy in place. What might your plan B
be? How can you minimise damage and risks? What safety features can you set up?

And, last but not least, celebrate the sunshine! How will you know when the project is complete? When will you bask in the sunshine and how do you plan to enjoy the blossom?

So, there you have it!

All that’s left is to wish you sunshine and blossom this springtime…

…and we will talk about pruning later in autumn!

Gillian

This is my most recent article produced for IamExpat and I am super excited to share it with you here.

As a busy expat in Switzerland with family and a career to contend with, it can feel like your internal energy supply is being drained. However, this feeling is normal and can be reversed.

I can usually reel these articles off easily and in no time at all. In fact, I can usually do many things in the same, easy way – that is until I had my hand put into a plaster cast from thumb to elbow. Now, from one day to the
next it feels as if all that I took for granted, from getting dressed to going anywhere, has become a time-consuming, mood-narrowing and exhausting circus.

When it comes to getting the support you need, you are not alone

If you are an expat feeling the frustration and exhaustion of all the things you used to take for granted suddenly becoming urgent points on your (not unsubstantial) list of things to relearn, you are not alone! Luckily though, when
it comes to getting the support you need to live your best expat life, you’re not alone either.

Finding a way to recharge your batteries is highly personal

To help those that need to “recharge their batteries”, I have been collating some of the key issues I have faced as an expat and incorporated them with secondhand experiences from the many coaching clients who have worked through
their transition with me. What I discovered is that while there are many themes that are similar, no two situations or solutions are ever the same for any two clients.

What might work for one person and situation doesn’t necessarily work for the next, and reflecting back on what made each client journey successful, even the goals and solutions have been contradictory! Everything from learning
the local language, embracing the culture and “fitting in”, to recognising, developing and leaning into a person’s authentic self and celebrating differences can and have worked wonders.

Best to focus on the who, what, when and where

Looking at the list of common themes in front of me, the one piece of advice I would offer to everyone, regardless of language, culture or expat situation is to learn what recharges your batteries, recognise what drains them and
take the time to find and maintain your personal balance.

Can you remember a time when feeling depleted held you back physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually? Wherever you are and whatever you are facing right now, you will get the most out of the experience with fully and
positively charged batteries.

Here is a simple tool that I regularly use to support clients’ energy levels, whatever goals they may be working towards:

1. Draw a basic flower with a circle for the centre and four petals around the circle. Leave enough space to write inside each of these five shapes.
2. Label each of the four petals with What, When, Who and Where.
3. Fill out each petal with each what, when, who and where that charges your batteries (For example, What gives you energy? When is your energy at its highest? Who helps to boost your energy? Where do you feel most
   energised?).
4. Think of all the times in your life when you felt energised, when things flowed and when you felt positive and had a sense of “I’ve got this!”- even in challenging situations.
5. Keep filling the petals with your own “battery chargers” until you can’t think of anything else.
6. Choose something from your “What” petal and do it. You might even choose an energy-boosting time, place and person to do it with.
7. Notice how this makes you feel when you do it consciously and listen out for any “notes to self” (it might come in the form of a word, a sentence, a mantra, an image or a symbol). This is the centre of your flower; your
   personal “charge your battery” reminder light.

Please take into consideration that there are different kinds of energy – sometimes it’s hard to understand why we are still exhausted after sleeping so much, for example. Consider that each what, when, who and where has
positive, charging influences on all aspects of your energy; your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energies.

Try to focus on things you can do, not resent what you can’t

A word of caution: right now, I notice myself feeling grumpy and exhausted because I can’t be in the woods (one of my recharging “wheres”) walking my dog (one of my recharging “whats” and “whos”). I can’t put my coat or walking
boots on or drive above the fog to the sunshine that I know would recharge me (one of my winter “whens”). My English family and friends (some of my recharging “whos”) are not around the corner and can’t pop in to offer support
and make me giggle.

It’s easy (and completely normal and understandable) to slip into regretting all the things we can’t do right now and resenting the things we perceive as ‘to blame’ for lower-than-normal energy and mood.  Each of us has a
different go-to defence mechanism here, whether it’s pushing ourselves to plough on through, or blaming others or the situation for the way we’re feeling.

You know your own special way of reacting to these problems so keep in mind that whatever you write in the centre of your flower, needs to maintain your positive focus on what you CAN do and the choices you DO have control of. The
next time you sense your energy dipping, notice what kind of energy has sprung a leak and let your energy flower remind you of all the ways you can give yourself a boost.

Whatever expat situation you are facing, remember that there is no quick solution, but there is plenty of support available. Coaching is the quickest way of making the most of your expat experience because it meets you
exactly where you are right now and delivers the energising what, where, when and who to partner with you on your own unique journey. To help you make the most of your own journey, please contact me,
Gillian Walter, and for more resources on developing your own voice, visit 
Brave Voice Books.

Design Your Best Ever New Year Strategy: Easy as A,B,C!

Appreciative Analysis

Spend focused time looking back over last year with compassionate curiosity. Where were the gifts, new seeds and even manure?

Break it Down

What would 2023 success look like? Get to what is most important to you about each of these goals and find your purpose; find your ‘why’.

Celebrate, Compost & Commit

Commit to taking the first steps. Commit to celebrating the wins and learnings from each step and taking the gifts of learning

================== X ==================

I sat down this weekend with my ‘Set Your Compass for the Year Ahead’ workbook and was pleased with myself for being well-prepared this year!

However, as soon as I began to look back into that 2022 rearview mirror, my positivity soon drained away. I could only see the ‘shocks’, the ‘disasters’, the ‘disappointments’, all the things left unfinished and all the plans not yet
started or even promised and forgotten.

To say my inner critics came to poop my party is an understatement and it reminded me of the importance of putting security on the door before beginning any Review & Preview Party!

So, if you are also ready to review 2022 and plan for 2023, here are some additional exercises to complement and support the ‘Set Your Compass for the Year Ahead’ workbook (download below) and make it the best Review & Preview Party
ever!

Calm Your Party Poopers

First things first, here’s a little trick to calm your Party Poopers if they start judging you:

• Take a sticky note,
• Listen for your loudest Party Pooper
• Draw it on the sticky note.
  If the ‘Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t draw’ Party Pooper shows up, put your drawing implement in your non-dominant hand and tell him/her/they/it that no one else will see this drawing so ‘thanks for the warning and trying to
  protect me BUT I’m good thanks…
• When you have your Party Pooper’s attention, look around your space and decide where the party ‘Chill Out Zone’ might be. Whatever Party Poopers arrive for you during these exercises, tell them there are drinks and snacks waiting
  for them in the Chill Out Zone.
• Write on a second sticky note what you can do if you feel the Party Pooper or Poopers sneaking back in: Laugh? Let go? Give them a virtual hug..?

2022 Appreciative Analysis Exercise

• Take a sheet of paper and fold your page in half vertically then horizontally to make 4 segments.
• Give each segment a season title (Spring 2022/Summer 2022/ Autumn 2022/Winter 22) and jot down key events that took place in each 2022 season.
  NB: When I jotted my key events down, I felt like 2022 had all been a ‘disaster’ and wound my Party Poopers right up. Be prepared to hold a safe and empathetic space for any of yours that get triggered too.
• Next, visit each seasonal segment as if it were a shop asking yourself, ‘With hindsight, what positive things can I take from each segment?’ However challenging events were, what positives can you discover there: Learning, growth,
  new awareness, appreciation, new connections, personal or professional development? Take whatever serves you from each ‘shop’ and leave the rest behind.

Break it Down

• Take another piece of paper and fold it into 4 segments as before.
• What do you really want to achieve in 2023?
• Break this main goal down into what you would like to achieve in each season.
• What is most important to you about each of these quarterly goals?
• Taking answers from step 4, repeat the question, ‘What is most important to me about this?’ and continue to repeat this step until you connect with your core purpose or ‘inner-why’ for each.
• You now have a red thread for each season leading to your 2023 goal. Whatever the year throws at you, keep these elements polished. This will be your 2023 compass.

Celebrate, Compost & Commit

• Looking back at the 2022 gifts you discovered, give a celebratory title to each segment. This could be a single word, a sentence, a mantra or image you want to remember.
• Take the time to celebrate the good stuff, the learning, the doors that perhaps wouldn’t have opened without others shutting.
• What first steps will you commit to in January 2023?
  NB: Put your Party Poopers aside if they remind you of 2022 poop! Bring your attention to how this poop has, or potentially could, become ‘compost’ and what you could plant, grow, nourish and harvest in it.
• What will support you most moving through 2023?
• What could you do to keep your Party Poopers calmly and curiously learning and celebrating in 2023?

Now you are ready to complete the ‘Set Your Compass for the Year Ahead’ workbook (download
below) for the best New Year plan yet!

Happy 2023 from Inside-Out Coaching, where you will find all the support you need whatever the year throws at you!

Moving to Switzerland can often feel like a step into the unknown, and many struggle to adapt and integrate into their new home despite their best efforts. As Gillian Walter, from Inside-Out Coaching explains, moving to a new
country and facing change doesn’t have to change who you are as a person.

The last time everything changed for me, I was pregnant and leaving everything behind to start a new life in a new country. The language was incomprehensible, the customs weird and the driving terrifying. After I arrived, it felt
like every cell in my own body seemed to change.

Despite best efforts, change can take its toll

I made the change to be with my travelling husband and was initially excited and positive. I put all my time and effort into learning the language, moulding myself into a new, more “local” identity and trying my best to fit in. I
was determined to make the most of it, but to say I quickly felt lost and alone is an understatement.

I believed I was doing the right thing and needed to try harder, but it didn’t work. I started to resent the country, the people, the language and even my husband for putting me in an impossible environment. The change was just too
great.

Make the very best of change by following ABC

If you are facing change, please learn from my mistakes, concentrate on the three points below, leap past potential pain and make the very best of your change right from the start.

Acceptance

I’ve learned that successful change cannot be found in the “doing” alone. It must begin with how you present yourself and how you are “being”. Once I learnt how to focus on myself and how I was being, the doing part followed without
effort.

Once you can stand back and accept that it is what it is – not condone or change yourself to fit in – you can let go of trying to change yourself and others and start leaning into the strengths and resources that can only be found
in you and your authentic way of being.

Learning how to accept what is, is one of the most powerful steps.

My dad first called me out for trying to become someone else in order to fit in. At the time, I was bemoaning the impossibility of fitting in, all the things I’d tried to no avail and basically, how awful the Swiss were for not
playing by English rules. This was 10 years into my expat struggle, I had two small children and was exhausted and resentful.

My dad asked me why? Why try and be someone I wasn’t, to fit in with people I didn’t understand?

As soon as I remembered and reconnected with who I was, accepted that being myself was just fine and came back to being my most authentic self, I started effortlessly growing a huge supportive tribe around me, bigger than I ever had
back in England. Happiness and balance returned quicker than I could have believed.

Balance

Knowing how to stay balanced means staying resourced and in control. A balanced mind sees and embraces opportunities. To me, balance means:

Paying attention to who you are, what you need, and what your values and strengths are.

Paying attention to what it feels like to be in AND out of balance.

Paying attention to what you’re doing or thinking and when you’re in and out of balance.

Paying attention to your centre and what you need to stay there.

If you notice that you are out of balance and beat yourself up about it, acceptance and any balance you may have had can disappear, the ease and flow of being centred and detached evaporate and the old, well-meaning but exhausting
defence mechanisms fly into place.

Curiosity

Staying compassionately curious and thinking, “How interesting! What might be going on here? What learning is there for me here? What do I believe about this – and how could I possibly be wrong? What might I be missing and how could
I better understand?” removes assumptions and judgement and offers a surefire way to stay balanced and connect easier with others.

Curiosity is about viewing change with compassionate fascination and finding innovative ways forward.

Curiosity combined with compassion is a killer combo to help learn from any situation and come out the other side stronger, wiser and more connected to the people around you.

Change is an opportunity to become more balanced and grounded

These core elements of acceptance, balance and curiosity worked 20 years ago but took me SO long to internalise. Now, I help clients to step back, understand and work with their personal change for what it is: an amazing opportunity
to learn, grow and become more authentic, more balanced and more grounded.

If you are facing change, don’t wait and don’t overwhelm yourself with hard work and resentment. Get in touch with Inside-Out Coaching to make the most of change’s
gifts, opportunities and learning

Once upon a time, there was a group of qualified and skilled coaches who had all experienced similar experiences in their coaching sessions.

They shared their experiences (without any personal details, naturally) with peers, mentors and supervisors looking for some further understanding and professional development and each of them found something new and relevant.

Some of these coaches then joined a supervision group and together they discovered the whole elephant.

What do elephants and coaching supervision groups have in common (apart from being fun)?

• Pools perspectives, creative ideas, tools, and techniques
• Mutual learning from shared knowledge and experience
• Peer empathy, support, and challenge
• Psychological safety to try new things out and practice
• Peer feedback and reflection
• Discovery and exploration of blind spots
• Professional development and performance
• Fosters continuing learning journey
• Have fun (did I mention that..?)

If you would like to experience the benefits of a coaching supervision group firsthand, click here to find out more or 
get in touch directly with Gillian

Click HERE if you would like to read more about the original elephant in our story!

Welcome to Inside-Out Coaching’s new and improved website. I hope that you like it!
We needed to make a change to our website because the site’s hosting platform kept crashing, so in fact we were somewhat forced to do it now and instead of just seeing that as one big chore, decided to use it as an awesome
opportunity to give the site a great makeover and make some updates and improvements. Sometimes change, even when unwanted, can be beneficial and as my mind was contemplating this, I wrote a blog all about “
What is Change”. Here it is. Enjoy.

Change is perhaps the only true constant in life.

Change can arrive suddenly and unexpectedly, it can be longed for yet reluctant to arrive, or it can creep in so slowly that the realization that it arrived at all can take us by surprise. Holding change back is as futile as trying
to hold back the tides or seasons and speeding the process up is like trying to ripen fruit with a hair dryer. Change can be the greatest challenge between humans and our sense of control.

I use the word ‘sense’ deliberately – we have very little to none in the face of change! If you think back to the times you worked hard to be in control of change – were you really? Can you think of a time when you believed you were
in control and life threw you a curve ball? I know I can!

Everywhere around me, in my environment and in the wider world I see, hear and feel the winds of change. Some gentle and welcomed with open arms, some rough and scary, some longed for and now regretted, some blowing a rite of
passage path and some rattling at closed shutters. The current storm is blowing so hard that my instinct is to turn my back, close my eyes and brace myself against the wind, but this time I chose to look for rainbows instead. My
‘rainbow’ strategy has been so positive and useful that I wanted to share it with you for the next period of change in your life.

When change arrives, it tends to bring black-and-white stress thinking along for the ride however desired the change may be. Thinking in rainbows can not only help you through a period of change, but it can also help you to get the
very most out of any change:

Red

Red reminds me of my heart and the things that are most important to me. Connecting with my values, my strengths and my purpose keeps my feet on the ground and my compass fixed on true North. I ask myself:

• What am I most passionate about?
• What is most important to me?
• What red thread will I hold onto while the winds of change are blowing?
• What is my anchoring foundation?
• What are my core values and strengths?
• What will keep me anchored to my purpose?

Orange

Orange is my traffic light reminder to pause and prepare myself – not for each eventuality of the change – that can be exhausting. Instead, I prepare to be my best self whatever happens. I ask myself:

• What do I most need to meet change with positivity?
• What do I need if the ride is short and bumpy?
• What do I need most if it turns into a Grand Tour?
• What do I need to put in place for myself?
• What might I need to prepare for to see the gifts in this situation?
• Which of my strengths and skills have I forgotten?

Yellow

Yellow is my sunshine and energy. It is my reminder to keep an eye on my own energy levels and know when and how to recharge myself. I ask myself:

• What makes my heart sing?
• What gives me energy?
• How can I check my energy levels?
• How will I know if my charge gets too low?
• How can I recharge – especially in the middle of a storm?
• Knowing myself the way I do, what will I need to do to keep my energy high?

Green

Green is nature and new beginnings for me. Having a dog means that I am outside in nature every day, but I can rush the walk with a sense of stress, or I can choose to notice the woods with all my senses and ask:

• What message does today’s weather have for me?
• What wisdom does this season have for me?
• What does nature naturally know that I have forgotten?
• How do the woods I’m walking through react to change?
• What might the birds above me see that I can’t yet?
• What seeds of new beginnings are perhaps waiting patiently for the right conditions to sprout?

Blue

Blue is water, flow and vitality. When all the natural streams emptied for the first time in 20 years I’ve been here during the last very hot summer, and it was a shock. It reminded me just how much I take the flow of water for
granted. I ask myself:

• Where is there flow in my life?
• What do I know can cause blockages?
• How do I know when I’m out of flow?
• What can I do to keep an eye on my level of flow?
• What do I need to stay in flow in a storm?
• What can I do now to keep my flow in a drought?

Purple

Purple is wealth, power, royalty and loyalty. It is my reminder that every change brings gifts, learning and opportunities. As we just lost our Queen, I am reminded that the first thing that is declared after the death announcement
is ‘God save the King.’ I ask myself:

• What is most important and never changes for me?
• What gifts are wrapped in this ‘change’ wrapping paper?
• What is stopping me from opening potential gifts?
• What do I need to do to fully honour things I am saying goodbye to?
• What do I need before I can be fully present and loyal to the ‘new king’ situation?
• What am I seeing as ‘negative’ and what other perspectives can I look from?

Preparing for, working through, and getting the best out of change with your coach is the best way of creating and strengthening your foundation, being fully prepared and keeping your energy high and in flow. The more you work on
these elements, the more you will see change as a gift-bearing friend and not a storm to endure.

Get in touch to ensure more colour and less storm in your life

Don’t forget to check the blog page again next week to read my latest poem, titled “Change”.

I just watched Groundhog Day with my family. Do you know it? If not, it’s a great film, especially for the world we find ourselves in currently. In a nutshell, grumpy TV broadcaster, Phil, and his ego get stranded by a snowstorm
whilst capturing the ‘excitement’ of the annual Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Phil soon realizes something is seriously amiss when he wakes up to the tedium of exactly the same day over and over. At first, he is
confused, then frustrated and angry before eventually accepting the situation for what it is and shifting to make the absolute best of the day by learning from each mistake and taking ‘failures’ as data to inform the next attempt at
the day with better understanding and gratitude.

As soon as Phil accepts this crazy, trapped situation for what it is, he begins to see everything as a gift of new data and learning. He learns to put himself into the shoes of others and, with this new way of looking at the world,
learns in turn the value of caring about others. For Phil, this nightmare of being locked into the mundane became opportunity after opportunity.

Sound familiar?!

They say a change is a good as a holiday but for, the majority of us, we can’t even change the same four walls we look at or the people we interact with, let alone take a holiday. So what can we do after we find ourselves in a
year-long Groundhog Day loop?

If we can’t change our environment, we can still choose to perceive it and our situation differently. Almost a year into this pandemic and all it has brought with it, what are the positive gifts of learning and opportunity that have
opened up for you even if they didn’t feel even vaguely positive at first? What were you grumpy about at first, that then turned into a gift or opportunity with hindsight and a different attitude? How did you manage to alter your
perspective? What changed for you once your new perspective allowed you to see the possibilities?

Even if you need to take a moment to stop, reflect and find some personal positives in this pandemic, I am sure that just the process of looking for the positives helps some rise to the surface.

In the case of Groundhog Day, Phil started making friends with his current situation. He started looking for the learning in the inevitable and mundane and eventually became deeply grateful for each new lesson learnt. Once he
accepted ‘now’ as nothing good or bad, but just as what was, he was able to let go of worrying about where he should be and what he could be doing differently and invite his full attention in the moment. He connected back with who
he was and what was important to him, rather than who and what he was trying to become. This gave him the time and space to appreciate relationships, recognise the teachers around him, shift from a place of pride and fear to ease
and flow and, ultimately, find love and appreciation in the situation he’d originally been so desperate to escape.

The humour of this classic script comes predominantly from Phil’s frustration and refusal to accept what is, his victim mindset and his desperate attempts at holding back reality (however unbelievable) before eventually letting go
and deciding to have fun going with the flow of what is.

No one is saying for one moment that these times are easy, however the energy of ‘pushing against’ rather than ‘flowing with’ can make a considerable difference in all areas of our health and well-being.

Seeing the negative and feeling trapped is a very different energy than looking for the gifts of learning and opportunities, however small. Phil learns to find joy in the simple things that he was previously too distracted to
notice. There is plenty of research to support the many benefits of daily gratitude to our mental well-being. These small appreciative moments have the power to change our perspective, attitude, energy levels and mood.

My daily dog walks have become a very special part of my day. I appreciate the sparkle of snow and the warmth of the house and teacup when I get home from the deep snow we are currently experiencing. I play with adding walking
meditations, audiobooks and face-timing my family and friends that I haven’t seen in so long so that we can take a virtual walk together too. Walking coaching and supervision brings a whole new dimension to our reflections even when
the client and I are walking in two separate environments and connected by phone. I wonder if I would have even considered something like that if it weren’t for my groundhog situation?

I am certainly making more of an effort to connect and feel a renewed sense of community from others too. I am thinking more often about who I haven’t spoken to in a while, who is on their own and reaching out to find out how people
are doing. This is just one thing I really appreciate and want to actively take out of Groundhog Day with me.

How about you? What are you noticing that you previously missed? What new perspectives have you discovered? What are you grateful for? What have you learned? What are you doing, appreciating or learning in your Groundhog Day
experience that you will actively take out of lockdown with you? What small things are you taking pleasure in and how are you spicing up the mundane?

Share your little lockdown wins, emapthise and acknowledge all that is difficult with each other, but then share your positives, your appreciation and learning and encourage others to share theirs too. Let’s not forget that the
Groundhog Day film is a comedy. It might not necessarily feel as if there is much to laugh about right now, but look for the comedy moments, however small and share any smiles or giggles widely. I know I truly appreciate seeing the
more lighthearted side of this situation, but more often than not, I need someone else to help me see it.

At some point our Groundhog Day will come to an end. What do you want to be able to say that you learned from yours?