My yoga teacher and good friend, Faye, bought me a great T-shirt and on the front it says,

“You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf.”

A very cool T-Shirt motto, but what does it mean and just what do we need to do in order to learn to surf? How can Mark McGregor’s 10 Principles help us to surf the waves that life sends crashing onto our beach?

The first thing that has to happen before we can learn to do anything new is to decide to do it. If this sounds way to simple or obvious, think of the times you’ve said to yourself: “Yes I will. Just as soon as…” But, just as soon
as what? As soon as you’re:

Old enough? Retired? Have more time? Have more money? Not as tired? Fit enough? Have less responsibility? Not as stressed?

These are all valid points for stopping yourself from doing many things. So, the very first thing you have to do before learning to surf is simple:

Principle 1

I am responsible.

Make the decision to learn to surf. No excuses. No ‘Maybe tomorrow’. Just do it.

But how do you know if learning to surf is an important thing for you or simply a waste of time? How can you be sure? By asking yourself if this is something that is important to your inner values. Ask yourself if this is really
something that you can get behind heart, mind, body and soul. To know the answer to these questions, you need to be clear on your own values; what are the most important things for you in life? Health, fitness, being outside in
nature, time with friends, time for myself, testing myself and pushing my limits, getting up every time I fall and patience. If these are core values for me-the things that I need in my life to be happy-then let’s get kitted up and
ready to hit the beach!

Principle 2

I clarify my values.

Know what is important to your life and to your happiness and put these things first.

So, are you ready to surf the Pipeline, the barrels of Kirra or huge Mavericks? Do you even know what any of that means? Perhaps not quite yet. But it is important to set your goal and define what success will look like to you. How
will you know when you’ve reached your goal? How will it feel? What will it look like?

Principle 3

I have a vision.

Know what you want to achieve. See it, smell it, hear it, dream it and most of all believe it.

If you are at the Principle 3 stage then you know what you want and why and you are all fired up and ready for action. Positive energy is flowing and you’re on cloud nine! But, be careful. We all only have so many hours in the day
and so much energy to invest. What we need now is clarity of execution. That means having an action plan with your vision clearly in sight, creating and being willing to evaluate the action steps on the way to your goal and knowing
the best and most pro-active things to do right now. Do your research, find the most appropriate equipment, decide on the best location and find someone to guide and help you with each development step.

The beach you will be spending your training time on consists of rocks, pebbles, gravel, sand and water. I’m sure many of you already know the ‘Big Rocks First’ principle. For anyone that doesn’t, I would highly recommend taking a
second to watch Meir Kay’s YouTube video, “A Valuable Lesson for a Happier life”. Basically, you have to place your ‘big rocks’ into the ‘jar’ of life first in order to fit everything else in. Do not confuse ‘big rocks’ with the
most urgent tasks of the moment. Your big rocks are those things that you need to be happy, focused, balanced and motivated; things that align and compliment your values and take you further to your vision.

A danger of learning to surf is being unprepared and getting caught in a rip tide. A rip tide is strong current of water moving directly away from the shore that can trap unaware surfers. There is no coincidence that it is called an
R.I.P. as it can prove deadly to get caught up in the heavy current. Many suffer from panic and exhaustion attempting to swim against the flow of water with nothing but constantly shifting sand and gravel under their feet. Know your
big rocks and your solid ground. Be prepared!

Principle 4

I am on Mission.

Do your research. Look after the ‘big rocks’ and don’t fall into the rip tide of heavy currents and shifting sand.

Okay, we have done our research, we have our equipment, we know where to begin and, theoretically, how to surf but is that enough? Of course not! We have all had the experience of learning something new and it rarely goes that
smoothly. We have to fail, reflect, analyze our mistakes and learn from them in order to learn. Chances are that we will fail again, but next time we will ‘fail better’ and so the cycle continues until we find the perfect balance.

We have to have balance in all aspects of life before we can stand up on our surfboards. We have to be aware of what balance means; balance between private and professional life, balance between our needs and those of the people in
our lives, balance between what we need now and in the long term. Having a trusted ‘sparing partner’ that you can take constructive feedback from is worth its weight in gold.

Principle 5

I Strive for Life Balance

Keep your focus on your vision but be prepared to try, fail, analyze and learn from one step to the next. Learn the importance of reflection in order to achieve balance.

And you’re up! But, hang on; so are other surfers…

Surfing is like life in as much as we can’t all paddle and splash in the faces of others, steal someone’s wave or cut them off. There is surfing etiquette that stops people getting hurt, upset and makes sure that everyone gets the
best out of their experience:

Observe the right of way and wave priority.

Communication.

Don’t hog the waves.

Know your ability.

Take advice from locals.

Know what upsets others.

Apologize.

Be aware of and respect others.

Help others.

Respect the beach.

Have fun!

Principle 6

I Actively Give & Take

Work with fairness and create win-win scenarios.

After a hard day’s surfing practice, it’s easy to sit back with a beer on the beach and tell big tales of bigger waves but we’re not experts yet. Even if we were, we can still only talk about the things we already know. When we
listen (and I mean really listen, not simply preparing what we are going to say next as soon as the other person leaves a gap), we have the opportunity to learn things that we didn’t know. The speaker will feel
that they are truly being listened to and understood. Real listening leads to real two-way communication, communication leads to understanding, understanding leads to trust and trust leads to success.

Principle 7

I Value Empathy

Listening, understanding, supporting and trusting others supports your own success.

Once there is open communication, trust and understanding between you and the people you are surfing with then you can really improve! You have to be concentrated and focused in order to stay balanced on your board, but it’s also
crucial to be aware of others and remain flexible. You will benefit from exercises that improve your core stability and also your flexibility. Mutual respect and cooperation ties in all the above principles and shares your vision
with others. They will want to see you succeed and, together, this multiplies the power of one- of you alone-into something much more powerful.

Principle 8

I Work with Involvement & Diversity

Learn to trust others. Welcome new ideas and opinions. Prepare to be challenged.

Trusting others, being open to new ideas and being challenged can only work well when we are strong enough in our selves and in our relationships to allow ourselves to become vulnerable and relationships like that do not happen over
night. Strong relationships develop over time. Time used to remember the small things; time invested with focus on principles 6, 7 & 8. Time invested in the small things; being ready with a towel, a helping hand, encouraging
words, compliments, apologies or just a beer. Being aware of the needs of others and showing gratitude when they do the same for us is a wonderfully simple way to develop and maintain all the important relationships in our lives.
One important consideration is to make sure that the relationships we are working to improve are the right kind of relationships and not unhealthy or damaging ones.

Principle 9

I Make Relationship Deposits

Recognize the difference between healthy and damaging relationships. Understand the value of good relationships. Be aware of and do the small things needed to develop and maintain good relationships.

You kept your goal and action plan in sight; you have technique and your support group. Well done-you can surf! But for how long? Sustainability is important if you still want to be catching those barrel waves for years to come. If
you want stay fit enough to surf, you obviously need to proactively work towards optimal physical health. An over-weight surfer is not going to have the strength to paddle any distance or ‘pop-up’ onto their surfboard. Once you are
up on that board, it is important to be able to let everything go and live in the moment; loving what you’re doing. No stress or distractions. Remember to listen to your body; hear when your muscles have had enough and when you need
to take on fluids. Torn muscles and sunstroke will definitely spoil your fun!

Principle 10

I Re-Energize Weekly

Keep your body, mind and soul fit and healthy. Make the choice to take time for yourself and listen to your body, exercise, eat healthily, relax and, above all, learn to love life.

Obviously, these principles are not only relevant for learning to surf! They are guidelines to live by and guidelines for success. Your past does influence who you are to a certain extent but success is not based on your past. Your
success and everything you do is based on the choices you make. You, and only you, are responsible for these choices. When you realize this and take full responsibility, it becomes possible to take a good look at ourselves and ask,
“What is important to me?” “What do I really want?” We need to be vulnerable and honest with ourselves to find these answers but only then can we take the plunge and leave the safety of the beach. It is not an easy task and we will
fall off of our surfboards, learn a lesson, change our behaviour and have to start again many times along the way.

Change of any kind can be scary and daunting even when we are convinced of its importance, but you don’t have to struggle alone.

A coach will guide and support you every step of the way. The coaching process gives you the time, space and support necessary to analyze and clarify your position before deciding on your values, vision and action plan steps. A
coach will inspire and support you but also challenge you and take you out of your comfort zone in order to get away from what your head tells you is ‘OK’ in order to discover what your heart and soul actually want for all round
happiness. A coach will help you to clarify what you need to do to reach your vision, implement strategies and hold you accountable.

Are you ready to learn to surf the waves of your life? Then I’m here to help you meet the challenge of riding the highest waves and to ensure you have fun along the way.

Book your first coaching session now.

What if I die vs what if I don’t live?

After having a series of hip operations, including two double hip replacements, I found myself once again standing at the bottom of the ski piste waiting for my kids and husband to ski down to me and say hi for a quick second before
rushing off again with pink cheeks and laughter.

Now, I’m not one for giving up or always doing what I’m told, but I knew skiing was out of bounds and I fully understood why. As I stood there alone, cold, bored and frustrated, I watched a young girl having a snowboard lesson and
dreamed of a compromise. I could either accept my limits without a fight or face my fears and try and find another way. I realized that if I didn’t face this fear and try something to get back on those slopes, it would be a limit
for life.

Decide what you really want (or don’t want)

The screaming conflict began straight away; ‘To really enjoying family ski holidays, quality time with my kids and husband and really earning my après ski’ versus, ‘but you’re too old, it’s too dangerous, you’re too broken, too
unfit…’ and the list went on. But I’m stubborn; there’s always a way and there’s always a choice: to die of boredom or take a risk, so off I went to the rental shop.

Learn from your mistakes, remind yourself why you began and never give up

My first lesson hurt so much! I was black and blue afterwards, but at least I could get down a blue slope, not elegantly, but I was up there with my family again and, boy, that felt good. My children treated me to the ‘L’ sign on
their foreheads for ‘loser’ if I fell or didn’t dare to turn and that was a pretty good motivator too!

I bought protective gear and practiced, fell, practiced, fell less, improved, fell harder, practiced harder and took more risks. Yes, I still came home sore, but happy. I focused on my improvements every day and was determined to
give more energy to succeeding than listening to my ever present fears. Each evening I asked myself, ‘What isn’t working?’ ‘What do I have to practice?’ ‘What do I have to improve?’ But the question that kept me pushing forwards
was, ‘Why am I doing this?’

Break out of your comfort zone

I ride ‘Goofy’, yes, that really is a thing, although I had no idea what it meant when my rental board was set up with my right leg binding at the front of the board and my left foot at the tail. As I scoured YouTube for boarding
tips, I discovered that goofy means your strongest leg is at the back of the board to help you turn and break. Unfortunately for me, my natural ‘strong’ leg was the one that had been left particularly weak from the operations. I
needed to change to my naturally weaker side and, if that wasn’t scary enough, I made this discovery just before going to a big ski resort for the first time with a group of 7 excellent skiers. So, I found myself at the top of a
very steep red run with my board on back to front and a group of expectant faces looking up and waiting for me to join them on the slope. I was comfortable enough on the practice slopes but now, up there looking down, it was time to
take a leap of faith. I sat there doing up my bindings and asked myself a really stupid question, ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’ ‘DIE!’ came the answer, ‘Break something, dislocate something, end up in a wheel chair. Just go
back to the practice slopes, meet up with them later, don’t be so stupid…’ I fed myself this poison until I almost couldn’t breathe. I really felt as if someone else was giving me a really good telling off and the humiliation I felt
with my friends waiting for me was huge. I set off out of sheer embarrassment and anger. And fell. Hard. Full of ‘you’ll never get down alive’ negativity, I stumbled and limped my way down the mountain berating myself the entire
way. But, I DID get down. I had jumped out of my comfort zone and lived-despite my fear trying to convince myself otherwise.

Don’t allow your fears to become your limits

I had needed the others to force me out of my comfort zone and I was grateful for that, but I headed back up alone. This was a battle I had to fight myself. Me against my fear. I knew I could do it-I had proof, but my thoughts were
still drip-feeding me poison. I tried meditating on the ski lift; with every in breath, I breathed in energy and calm and with every out breath, I breathed out negative thoughts that couldn’t serve me. This worked surprisingly well
(it’s a very long lift) until it was time to ride. My mind really overtook ‘feeling’ as I had to concentrate on riding ‘regular’ or backwards for me. As soon as my head took over so did the negativity. There were two of us up there;
one that said, ‘Okay, you know what to do-now just do it’, and the other that whispered, ‘But what if you can’t’, each time I began to go for it.

Accept your fear-and say ‘yes’ to its face

I tried counting in my head to block out the ‘What-ifs’ and tried counting out loud too. I knew which voice I wanted to listen to, but thoughts have an unfortunate habit of thinking themselves anyway. But oh, those steeps! I learned
how to conquer them in theory, but fear held me back from giving 100% commitment to the crucial turns. If I made it, my heart was left pounding with adrenaline and then I immediately wondered if it was just a fluke or luck this
time. If I fell, I got so angry because 9 times out of 10 I knew where I’d gone wrong-I hadn’t fully committed-or not quickly enough. I was really determined to get out of my comfort zone, I was determined to keep getting up each
time I fell, I was determined to overcome the voice of my fear and I was improving every time, but even my determination to silence that drip feed of fearful thoughts and stay positive actually created another problem entirely:

Fear + Anger at the fear = Negative Mind-set

I realised that, while I was never going to let my fear stop me, I had to accept it and see it for what it was, not fight against it (and therefore myself) each time I strapped my board on.

Leave your fear in the valley

Fear is only an emotion like any other but it really blinded me. Fear made me panic and make bad choices and bad choices on steep, icy slopes hurt. When I chose to look my fear in the eye, I saw a typical primary school bully. A
bully who does what he does because of his own insecurities and fears. I chose to accept it, ‘I see you for what you are and I’m glad you’re looking out for me, but I’m doing this anyway so stay in the valley and be good until I get
back.’ My huge, debilitating fear became a small, uncertain child and I had an excellent afternoon of fun. It made a massive difference. My fear still came back to sit on my shoulder at the top of those steeps and before I tried
something new, but I took the time to breath, look it in the eye and say, ‘Okay I see you, but I’m doing this anyway’.

Fear is a liar

I had seen so many boarders riding ‘dynamically’ and had managed a few copy-cat moves. Back home, YouTube gave me the solution once again; music-loud and rhythmic music. I found a Spotify snowboarding playlist. It definitely has a
powerful beat with lots of rap and seriously not my thing but I turned it up LOUD and concentrated on the beat and trying to understand what the musicians were rapping about. Before I knew it, I was surprised to find myself back at
the ski lift. I’d had the most awesome ride; I’d conquered the steeps without even realizing it. I hadn’t stopped at the top of each one and looked down, I’d just gone with my instincts and the rhythm of the music. There had been no
fear. I hadn’t just not fallen-I’d totally loved every second!

And then I knew the final truth:

Yes, danger is real. Yes, I have to be careful of my body. I’d tried to battle fear and failed. Then I’d accepted fear as something looking out for me, but fear made me fall, fear made me fail and fear was responsible for my bruises
and frustration. The truth is; fear does not exist in its own right; it is created by our own thoughts. This means that fear really is our choice.

Trust your instincts over your mind

With that music pumping and my mind fixed on the beat, my body was finally allowed to follow its instincts, finally allowed to ‘just do it’, finally allowed to succeed. And, do you know what? It felt SO awesome to know the truth, to
feel the power over that uninvited negativity, to know that I really could do whatever I set my mind to as long as fear was not part of the equation. I was on the lift again without waiting for anyone else to join me. I had to get
back up there and do it again-leave what little was left of my fear in the valley and really feeling my instincts have a ball.

You don’t have to fight fear alone

It was a lonely, painful and frustrating journey, but I’ve never looked back! Once I found a way to ditch the fear once, that was enough to silence my own critics and leave it behind for good. Now, I choose to push my limits, choose
to challenge my comfort zone and choose to squeeze every last bit of living out of the mountain of life-especially the steeps!

The only thing I would change with hindsight is going through this alone. Yes, others unwittingly pushed me from my comfort zone, but there was no one to catch me or guide me through the challenges that led on from that. My advice
would be to put your trust in a good friend or coach to not only push you out of your comfort zone but to stay to guide and support you through the challenges that lead into your wow zone.